Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Let me make myself clear.  Crystal clear.  I don’t just hate call centres.  I hate the people who work in them.  And I don’t hate them simply as a frustrated end user, but I hate them as a colleague, having spent many years connected to a telephone via a piece of shit one sided headset, which in turn is connected to other human beings, being allotted rest breaks and the necessity to notify our superiors of the need to go take a piss.  In fact, when you think about it, working in a call centre really is no different to being in a Chain Gang, albeit with mildly improved wages and less manual labour.

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A typical call centre, minus the headsets and miserable scowling faces

I have worked my way up to an internally respectable position, and I say internally, because nobody outside of call centres considers you as anything but “a something in a call centre,”  and I excel at my job.  The big cheeses love me.  But you know what?  I fucking hate every day of this shit.  I got myself off the phones which was a miracle in itself, and now I’m stuck in a soul destroying, meaningless job, because I just can’t get away from call centres.  I smile at the right people, produce all the work that’s asked of me, but my god, how I hate it.  I’m perceived as being very good at my job, and if they knew it was me who was behind this blog... well holy fuck, I’d be dismissed on the spot, before being frogmarched from the building I slave in seven days a week, amid a chorus of shocked and beleaguered faces.   

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But hey ho, we all need an outlet, so without further ado, I present you with everything I abhor about our call centre culture.  And let this blog serve as a warning to you should you be considering a job in a call centre anytime soon; maintain your self respect, please.  Working in a call centre without realizing how demoralizing that shit is, is bad enough... but knowing beforehand just makes you a dipshit.

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YOUR CAREER IS OVER

Once you’ve spent a few years in a few different call centres, you’re fucked.  You will never escape.  It will become a vicious, inescapable cycle, as you slowly come to realize that employers do not see call centre skills as ‘transferable’ in any respect.  You know that cosy office job you’ve been looking for?  Yeah, unfortunately, all the relevant experience you’ve gained through call centres doesn’t mean shit, and you’ll find yourself on the reject pile faster  than an all new rehabbed up Kerry Katona at an Icleand audition.  

THEY ALL HAVE BULLSHIT MEANINGLESS SLOGANS

Here’s a newsflash : they all have the same stupid bullshit slogans that the staff secretly laugh about behind their backs.  Some crap about putting customers first, some drivel about how important you are to them.  Ever notice how these principles only apply so long as the shit isn’t hitting the fan and they aren’t uber busy?  Seriously, next time you’re call after call, just pose a simple query to your Team Leader / Coach / whatever, and keep on going back to them with new problems, and see how quickly their own principles are abandoned in favour of subtly hinting “ we’re busy, get rid of them.”  (Also known as arrange a callback/escalation/raise a complaint)

YOU ARE EXPENDABLE

Ever had a Team Leader, or worse still stupendously overpaid community leader / operations manager tell you that YOU’RE the most important resource the company has, without YOU, the business simply couldn’t continue to function?  Yeah, that’s bullshit, and you know it.  So, you’re the most critical commodity the business has, into which they invested god knows how many thousands of pounds into you huh?  Then maybe they could explain to you why, with the exception of the maintenance team (and even then it’s ambiguous) you’re the lowest paid employees in the entire company, save for the canteen staff and security guard?  That’s right, you’re so important to the company that they pay your hardly- superiors a few thousand pounds more than you, and your “big bosses” up to three times as much.  That’s how much they value you.  

TEAM LEADER JOBS ARE EASY

And I know, because I used to be one, and a very good one at that.  I had a certain amount of calls I was required to listen to on a weekly basis, team reporting, coaching and 121’s – it was a walk in the fucking park.  ANY Team Leader who has the nerve to protest their jobs and the difficulties therein, are fucking awful at their jobs.  And before you question my credentials, I was a Team Leader with one of the largest five brands in my particular arena, in the world.  It’s a piece of piss for a job, particularly on weekends where, providing you aren’t a total goon needing to catch up on the monitoring you couldn’t be fucked to do through the week, you get to sit on your ass all day and play on the internet / text your buddies on your iphone.  Of course, you may get the odd indignant asshole who wants to complain “to a manager” but quite frankly, we all know how much fun it can be to antagonize the shit out of them on a dull day, shooting those assholes squarely down with some miniscule piece of crap from their terms and conditions.

NEVER GIVE THE CUSTOMER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Because most of the time, they don’t have a fucking clue what they’re talking about.  To the credit of most call centres (and one of the very few credits they will ever attain) many have cottoned on to this by now, and gingerly suggest that “rather than giving the customer the benefit of the doubt, we should clearly explain why they may have not fully understood the terms of their agreement.”  Bravo.

MOST OF THE JOBS ABOVE YOURS ARE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING DODDLE

When I was placed in charge of operations for the particular section of the business I was responsible for, I couldn’t believe how fucking easy that shit was.  In a very brief nutshell, my chief responsibility was to provide a gap analysis based on projected call volumes, and make sure they were filled so we didn’t lose (or abandon) any calls.  The Team Leaders sent me reports on how they were performing including things like sickness (yeah right) holiday, maternity leave and so on.  Shit I didn’t have any use for really, but was a requirement to keep some dickhead at corporate level happy.  Running operations is so fucking easy you could do it blindfolded.  And they get paid a LOT more than you.  You know when they play down how much they earn?  Yeah, they earn only a little bit more than you... AFTER they’ve paid tax and BEFORE you do.

Also, you know those annoying dipshits who call your Team Leader if you’ve been on an unusually long piss break or you’re late for your lunch because you’ve been speaking to some insufferable dickhead for an hour and a half?  Yeah, their job is cushy as fuck my friends.  They are essentially paid to keep the systems up to date with who is doing what and when, and keep tabs on leave allocation.  Maybe I’m super efficient and possess a deadly intelligence which escalates me to Limitless-esque levels, or maybe it’s just that shit is so easy to do for a living your grandma could do it with a few weeks training, who knows.  But either way, when you think to yourself “I could do a batter job than those fuckers”, you’re absolutely correct.


ONLY DICKHEADS ENJOY THEIR JOB ON THE PHONES

I don’t trust any fucker who claims to enjoy working in a call centre.  Don’t hate it, sure.  Tolerate it, okay.  But enjoy it?  You’re an unaspirational piece of shit, and I envy  you, for having few loftier goals in life than getting pissed with your mates, and watching the football.

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IT IS NOT A CAREER

Hoo boy, I have met some fuckwit jobsworths in my time.  I once worked with this fat fuck, who was such a corporate kissass, they stated their “dream holiday” would consist of spending time with their work colleagues, somewhere hot.  Another guy, a Team Leader in fact, was registered with a dating website for professionals... who must have felt like the biggest tool in the universe when a colleague brilliantly asked, in a blase' manner “but why are you on a website for career professionals?  You’re a Team Leader in a call centre.”

That’s right dipshit, working in a call centre is not a career, no matter how far up the ladder you’re able to drag yourself.    You still work in a call centre, and you work in a call centre because you’re too much of a dipshit to get a real job.  Call centres always have been, and always will be, maligned places of ridicule.  I worked for a company once, before I made the mistake of stepping into the call centre arena under the impression it was a good career move, in which the manager told me outright “I would never employ a manager from a call centre as a manager here, I don’t care how much experience they have on paper.  It’s a different world.”  

Working in a call centre for twenty years, and finding yourself a big cheese in the grand scheme of call centre machinations, is nothing to be proud of.  In fact, it’s downright disappointing, that a fossil like you was unable, even in the days before call centres were fucking everywhere, to escape working in a call centre.  Actually, I would say it makes you the biggest fucking loser in the place.

GETTING A JOB IN A CALL CENTRE IS EASY

Call centres ought to have revolving doors which deposit you right in the fucking dole queue, and the jobless in your seat.  Getting a job in a call centre is the easiest job you’ll ever get.  I cringed when I had to ask a plethora of bullshit questions about “times you’ve provided excellent customer service”, and note their responses which more often than not , roughly translated into either “it pays more money than the call centre I work at now,” or “I just need a fucking job, I’ll be out of here as soon as I get a real job.”

In the early days, I walked out of a couple of call centre jobs, because they were shit, and I was young.  And I always managed to find myself in another call centre within a week or two.


YOU GIVE ME SHIT WHEN I'M LATE, BUT DON'T MIND WHEN I HAVE TO STAY BACK

This fucking shit drives me crazy, and I have petitioned my employers in the past to do something about it – the fact is, if you get stuck on a call to some fucking utter dickhead at finishing time, and you leave five or ten minutes late – well then, fuck you, you won’t be getting paid for it, or get time back.  That’s just the nature of the job, and you were made aware of it when you signed up.  Too many call centres take this approach, and it’s disgraceful bullshit, particularly when you’re late and you have to explain every detail of your whereabouts from waking up to stepping through the office door.  Some call centres give you the time back or overtime after an allotted period – maybe twenty minutes – yet I can’t help but notice those assholes who run the place, can swan in as late as they like and leave on a whim, without retribution. 


WORKING CHRISTMAS / NEW YEAR'S / BANK HOLIDAY

This one is squarely aimed at both business and customer in equal measure; as both are as bad as each other when it comes to this particular annoyance – what sort of utter, utter dickead, will phone a call centre on Christmas day?  Granted, if it’s in regard to something which will fucking ruin Christmas for the entire family there and then, then fair play to you.  Get on the phone and get that shit sorted.  Just bear in mind, you may end up speaking to some poor bastard who wanted nothing more than to see their family and enjoy Christmas day at home, who has been forced to work because their name wasn’t picked out of a fucking hat after holidays were ‘fairly distributed’.  They won’t give a fuck about your problem, and will wish bad things to happen to you and your family if you call up for some stupid bullshit which could, in all honesty, wait a few fucking days.  Give a fuck at Christmas, only call in an emergency, hey?

And of course, let’s not forget – how many of the bigwigs have to come in at Christmas or New Year?  That’s right, fucking zilch, they are more than happy to run the holiday ship on a skeleton crew and not give a fuck about THEIR jobs for the day.

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The typical sort of bullshit you'll find in a call centre around Christmas.  It's so hilarious, it's almost like I'm not working Christmas fucking day at all while you're at home with your family, and there's an inflatable Reindeer in your seat just to remind me you fuck.


DRESS DOWN FOR CHARITY IS MANDATORY, NOT OPTIONAL, LET'S BE HONEST...

...Unless you want to look like the biggest jerk in the world coming to work in your business dress, then you’re gonna have to pay.  Oh, it’s for charity?  Yeah, then fuck that shit I’ll be sure to be hiding in the toilet when you come around rattling your tin.  You pay me to come to work, I don’t pay you.

COMMUNITY CHAMPION, TEAM CHAMPION, FEEDBACK CHAMPION, BULLSHIT CHAMPION

Hey there big guy, you know what you’re championing?  Some bullshit reasoning to make you seem like you matter to the business.  You know what would be great?  If you could travel back in time, make a visit to the coliseum, and declare yourself “Complaints Champion,” preferably in an arena full of rabid badass Gladiators and hungry lions.  See how you get on.


ANONYMOUS FEEDBACK IS A WONDERFULLY BAD IDEA, AND I LOVE IT

My business had in place a means of written feedback regarding different aspects of the business (as opposed to “anonymous surveys” which are, incidentally, always completed on your logins) and the outcome was hilarious to the point it was withdrawn unless people could use it responsibly.  “That blonde bitch who works downstairs can suck my dick she’s a retard” was one of many gloriously eye opening comments left for the management.


NO BOOKS OR MAGAZINES AT YOUR DESK

I have a unique opinion on this issue, as the first ever call centre I worked for, just didn’t give a fuck about it.  Seriously, there were fucking zero rules and the campaign we were working on was HUGE.  Like, the biggest in the United Kingdom huge.  We ate at our desks, read books, played network games, hundreds of people had a great old time.   Hell, I even met a kid I eventually became good friends with because he passed me leftover pizza and chips nobody could finish one afternoon.  Calls got answered, and nobody hated the fucking place.  People wanted to help customers, and went that elusive “extra mile” (corporate bullshit alert... whop whoop) because they were chilled as fuck and working with friends they could share interests with.  Then along came the client one day and said “aw HELL no, these assholes are clearly too happy, we need more professionalism about the place.”  And it all came to a grinding, painful halt.

Guess what happened?  Everyone left, management blew a gasket because calls were being abandoned left right and centre, and one disgruntled employee shat on the men’s toilet floor (which lead to many hilarious conversations among management as to the best course of action to clean it up)

The result was, a professional looking environment, full of seething employees who stopped giving a fuck about their jobs.  Look dipshit, if I have a book at my desk and I’m reading between calls, I’m not going to be suddenly taken off guard when a call comes through and answer with “Good afternoon, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo speaking... I mean, no wait, fuck, sorry”


PAPER FREE ENVIRONMENT

OMGLOL.  You know why.

DEPRESSION IS YOUR FREE TICKET TO TIMEOFFSVILLE

I know colleagues who have been off work with depression, and they are fucking depressed.  I can see it in their eyes; the crushing defeat of having to answer the phones day after day, dreading that next call; I even observed a colleague one afternoon just sit staring at his phone, not even logged in, as if he was about to have a fucking breakdown, he was so depressed.  I’ve been there too guys, and genuine depression is absolutely awful, uncontrollable, and frankly induces temporary thoughts the likes of which you couldn’t have even conceived just a few days earlier, so I would never make fun of the genuine victims of such a crippling ailment, but...

... then there are the rest of you fuckers who know for a fact the old ‘depression’ card is your free ride.  In a call centre, the easiest way to get out of work with virtually no repercussions on you – hell, it can often negate a piss poor performance over the last six months – is to hit them with a sick note for depression.  Often open ended, your dipshit employer will be all rich tea and sympathy for you, walking on eggshells to make your life easier when – and if – you decide to return to work.

The sad thing about this particular section is, most people who start off by faking it end up with genuine fucking depression at some point.  Hell, chances are you don’t even realize you’re suffering with depression – but don’t be scared to go see the doc if work is getting too much for you.  Call centre depression must be ridiculously rampant in this country, to the point where I believe it will attain that very clinical name.

ASSHOLE CUSTOMERS

Now I will admit, a lot of customers are nice enough.  Jolly and carefree, they care not a jot if you break bad news to them, so long as you do it smiling down the phone (ALERT ALERT) and in a manner which states “I’m sorry, I know my company is a complete suckass bitch, and I’m on your side.”  But then, you have the condescending dickheads, who think they are above speaking to the monkey and want the organ grinder whom, if they’re worth their salt as Team Leaders will back you up all the way, and they will bitch and moan at you, attempting to belittle you like the raging cockheads they are.

The best way to deal with them, I always found, was to put up a wall of indifference, and speak in a level tone, simply repeating the same information over and over in a monotone voice, talking over them, until they fucking explode and swear at you enough to cut them off.  Know your T&C’s and shoot those fuckers down in a hail of legality if needs be.  And f you’re sick as fuck, just slip in “my manager would advise you of the same thing” and bingo, you said the M word, and like some sort of subliminal suggestion, they’ll want your boss like fat girl wants loved.

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'Hey girls, I just had this real asshole on the phone, I've got his email though so he'll be getting some midget porn later.'

CALL CENTRE TRAINING

Holy flipchart presentations, Batman!  So you kick off with an icebreaker, or “the most pointless bullshit ever conceived, given that it all it achieves is to put everyone on edge for ten minutes, and they’ll instantly forget everybody’s name anyway”, then you  follow it up with a little history on the business, usually backed up by some jobsworth asshole who will pop their heads in to high five the trainer and assure you just how great a company it is to work for, and throughout the two/three/four week period you’ll enjoy a carefree attitude towards breaks and lunches.  “Awesome,” you’ll think, ”this  will definitely be a good place to work.”

Slowly but surely, you will amass pages and pages of flip chart, detailing every topic you’ve gone over, which you’ve presented to everyone else while they slept, unless of course you’re ‘that guy’ with the ‘crazy’ personality, who seems to be lapping this shit up in an attempt to impress everyone.  You’ll do tests, you’ll practice on the piece of shit systems.  You’ll have a grand old time assessing the hot girls in your training group while bonding with your fellow male colleagues, and casting a critical eye over the totty ratio in the canteen, and critically, you’ll attempt to arrange a “night out” for your training group, which will fall hopelessly apart about a week beforehand.

You’ll have a blast, and if you have any sense, at the end of your training you’ll get the fuck out of there, taking your pay for a few easy weeks of doing fuck all and screwing around with your new friends.  If you’re unlucky you’ll stick around, quickly realizing how utterly fucking pointless training was, as you bumble your way through calls, asking for help on every fucking screen you come across.  Systems training wasn’t worth dick, and it’s suddenly a zillion times busier than it was in academy, now they’ve changed your skillset to reflect every fucking asshole who is able to use a telephone and mash the keys together to get through to your company.

The Matrix has you now.


HUMAN RESOURCES DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU

Let’s get this one thing straight; Human resources (you know; the all-girl squad who sit on the top floor who are too busy to deal with your trifling little wage queries) within a Call Centre are there to deal with the ridiculous amounts of recruitment, and fuck all else.  In my early days, I went to HR because I felt I was being discriminated against by one of the big fat fuckwits who worked on the “we’ll sit here with pictures of our kids everywhere and read as many magazines as we want” magical desks at the far side of the call centre, and my very serious grievance was met with utter indifference, along the lines of “I know her personally and I can assure you that’s not something she would  do, there’s obviously been a miscommunication, really, try not to worry.”  No doubt soon after, she was off to the coffee machine to shoot the breeze with her chum from downstairs, and have a real chuckle about the attempted complaint.

You see, what you need to be aware of, is that in a Call Centre everyone but you has access to HR, and goes to have chats with them, getting to know them all by name and so forth.  They aren’t going to believe your shit, unless it’s pointedly serious, with witnesses, and they have no choice.  You can see it in their eyes; “you’re paid to work on the phones and we can always get somebody else to do this piece of shit job” is written all over their faces when you voice a concern.

You remember the company I worked for in my pre call centre days?  The HR department there was fucking awesome.  They even asked for pictures of my kid when he was born, remembering I had come back from paternity leave and were happy to genuinely spend time having a chat even if you were just walking past their office and the door was open.  To HR in call centres, you’re just a fucking expendable hindrance, unless you’re a Team Leader or above.

UNIONS... LOL

Who the fuck thought unions for a call centre were a good idea?  I joined a union once, and guess what happened when I approached them with an issue?  They advised me to speak to my manager, then his manager, blah blah.  Hey asshole, if I felt comfortable doing that, I wouldn’t be speaking to you, would I?  Waste of fucking time.  Don’t bother, because you have no rights, because you don’t have a serious job in the eyes of the galaxy.   

Folks, “I work in a call centre” instantly excludes you from partaking in any serious conversations with people in real jobs.  Understand this.  Admitting you work in a call centre to somebody is like telling them your parents are dead;  “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” is written all over their faces.  They will assume you have fucked up in life, or something has gone terribly wrong.   And frankly, they are absolutely correct.

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Call centres have a rich lexicon, scattered with wee pearls of wisdom which, in the outside world, would be laughed out of the fucking building if you attmepted to rationalize them to anyone with a real job.  You've all heard them; the ridiculous customer focused buzzwords and phrases, which make you die a little inside every time you have to endure them, fully aware that they're fucking bullshit.  I can assure you, these are all real.

SMILE DOWN THE PHONE

Fuck that shit, I used to slump in my chair and mouth “fuck you” down the phone... and still managed to sound happy.  I do not need to smile down the fucking phone.  What I need to do is convey information down the phone in a way that will send the customer away happy.  When I phone a call centre, I hate nothing more than some fucker sounding like they just opened their first Christmas present.  I want competence, not comedy.  I don't give a fuck about the person on the other end of the phone, so long as they fix my fucking problem.  They could call me a c*cksucker all day long; I just don't care.

PITCH, PACE, TONE (OR SOME SHIT)

Wait, what?  I manage to communicate in everyday life without paying any fucking attention to how I speak, and I seem to get along alright.  Do you assume I suddenly turn into Forrest Gump when faced with Johnny Customer on the other end of the phone?  Fuck you.  Pace, Piss, Off.


VERBAL NODS 

Apparently a way for the customer to know the agent hasn't fallen fast asleep listening to your bullshit which is the same as the last hundred customers' bullshit, which consists of making rudamentary grunts or sounds randomly throughout a call to denote they're listening, and not playing Connect 4 or snap with the guy sitting next to them.  I used to get so into my verbal nodding, I would completely zone out going "uh huh" and "yes," and have no fucking clue what the problem was by the time they'd finished rambling.



OBJECTION HANDLING 

When the agent says “Did you know we now have this shiny new bicycle for just ten pounds a month” and the customers says “No thanks I’m disabled and wheelchair bound” and the agent says “I see but have you considered the benefits of a bicycle...”

This is the epitome of Stupid Fucking Call Centre Bullshit, you are expected to “handle” three objections before giving up on the customer because hey, the customer may not realize that they actually need that shit.  Don’t assume anything.  Don’t let the fact they’ve expressly told you that they know what the insurance is, they’ve read all about it on Moneysavingexpert.com and they think it’s bullshit and would rather go to prison that take purchase anything from you, they may not know all the facts.  OBJECTION HANDLE.  It may be something which could benefit them; they just don’t know it yet.

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Your call is important to us.  Please wait, our advisors cannot fucking wait to speak with the next angry asshole who has been listening to our shitty music for ten minutes.

Yeah, we've all been there.  And do you want to know why call centres are constantly experiencing "higher than expected call volumes?"  Well, it's simple.  When the call start a comin', we all fuck off to the toilet.  We take a personal break, we fuck up our login on purpose so we have to call the helpdesk and crucially, don't have to speak to you.  It's nothing personal - it's just that taking call after call is so bitterly demoralizing - knowing there won't be any opportunity to pause for breath between now and the split second we'll have to mash our dialler keys in the hope of scoring a break when we're scheduled one - that we just snap, and give less of a fuck than at any other point during the day.



196 comments:

  1. This call centre worker agrees 110% with everything you have written. I'd also like to add in the assface colleagues that speak to you like you're a shitty customer when you pleasently try to transfer the REAL customer to them. Don't speak to me like I've just cut off your cat's head and displayed it to your children. We're both in this crap job together, what gives you te right to have a go at me when we deal with customers who do that enough. Fuck this job.

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  2. So much of this is so true. You know those "no-fault" points systems they have? That alone is killing my chance to move up. If you have below such and such points you can go over to another department but yeah.......they never ever ever ever fix them. I can't wait to get a new wardrobe and move the hell on.

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  3. Dude I actually read this top to bottom because I agree with every single point made. I wish I had read this before getting hired, and I can't wait to do doughnuts in the parking lot of that shit place when I snag a different job.
    - props, kudos, and such

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  4. Finally! Someone who understands how degrading Call Centers are. My family and friends can't understand why I hate my job so much and think I should "suck it up and be glad you have a job in this economy". Well, you're not the ones working in this kind of environment.

    Everything you just described is what I go to 5 days a week. I'm not a person there; I'm a robot with a number stamped on me to be monitored: I have no LIFE and should only exist to serve the "customers" that management doesn't give 2 shits about. The company I work for thinks so little of us that the JANITORS get better treatment.

    They're also cheap as hell(it's a miracle if all our shit actually works with no problem for a day) and are completely disorganized(dirty office and break room, lack of communication, constant schedule changes, and the "rules" changing every other day).

    That's not even getting into the "office politics" of petty co-workers and supervisors who play favorites(and playing the "nice girl" throughout it all because the LAST thing I need is dealing with enemies on an already stressful job).

    God, I want to quit this fucking job SO bad, but because of motherfucking "job politics"; employers don't want to hire someone isn't already working a job because it shows that they "aren't lazy"(WTF?!!!). Not like that fucked up logic makes a difference since I actually went to college and worked my ass off for a useless degree that still couldn't keep me from landing this shitty job.

    So yeah, I'm TWICE as bitter. I hate that this job has made me become like this. I'm so jaded and apathetic that I can't even care about the customers anymore(someone call our insurance company about how they're going to DIE without coverage for their medication and all I can think is "Great, another difficult call. Gotta get them off this phone ASAP".

    Hell, this job has effected my personal life. I'm on anxiety medication now, I'm moody, and usually come home with a temporary hatred for humanity(I've wished my managers burn in hell and even wished my building would blow up). I'm on my day off now and I STILL can't fully enjoy it knowing I have go right back to that HELL after one more day.

    Thank you for showing how hard it is to work in a Call Center. It's more than just "sitting down and talking on the phone all day". If I had to choose between being unemployed again and working at another Call Center, I'd choose unemployment. At least I wouldn't worry about keeping my sanity each day.

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    Replies
    1. Amen to everything you just said. I'm right there with ya. It's like dying a slow painful death going back to that place everyday and none of my friends or family can understand what I'm talking about when I try to explain it to them.

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    2. couldn't agree more, I've just been signed off for a couple of weeks and put on anti depressants because I've started having panic attacks. It's like working in a sweat shop in hell. And yes it's so annoying when people say suck it up, these are obviously people who have never worked in a call centre before, only those who have can fully understand the damage it can have on your mental health

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    3. If I didn't have the responsibiities that I do now, I would have rather been on the dole than work in a call centre; both options enable you to maintain about the same level of dignity, but at least when you're on the dole you don't see the same leve of disgust in people's eyes as you do when you're a phone monkey.

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    4. Yeah I asked the book I flip through for advice on what to do because my job is precisely as you've all described above but its a huge company where call center is only a small portion and I hope my college degree will help me get another position one day. But now I believe it won't and perhaps I was someone like Hitler in my past life to deserve this treatment but the effect of the job is a Hitler recreation because I hate everyone now from talking to asshole after asshole daily and idiots who have their heads lodged so far up their asses they need mommy to hold their hand to take a piss... so I figure I just hate humanity in general.

      Well, at least no one group is singled out in this run BECAUSE I HATE THEM ALL.

      So my book said I should meet people and do something positive so I want to the gym and an old lady started badgering me while on the treadmill and was just as fucking annoying so I'm like you ducks are talking to me now WHEN I'M NOT GETTING PAID!! HE'LL NO.

      My co-workers are mostly psycho and I can't relate. But I'm glad I only have cats at home. They don't talk to me.

      I did not used to be this way...all I have to say.

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    5. Tell your family and friends they are deluded. They ought to try it themselves, come back after a few months and then have the same conversation. This economy is so so fucked cocoa the clown can see it call centres are just an reflection of how this economy is sliding further into the shitpit.

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  5. This is the funniest thing i have ever read. Very well written. It's so good i've forwarded to some of my colleagues. Thank you for making my day.. you're a star. Luckily i'm getting outta here.

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  6. Everything from top to bottom was exactly how I feel. I work for call center almost 1 year and it sucked my soul and fucked up my mind. All this extra mile bullshit and psychological torture being wired to shitty headset waiting for a beep followed by some stupid ignorant idiot asking dumb questions every day is making life miserable. Reading this made me feel better, knowing that I'm not the one who fucking hates this job so much. If anyone feels the same way - quit ASAP, and save your sanity, so you don't have to spend your hard earned money for mental pills and therapy. Peace, I'm quitting this shit in 3 weeks.

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  7. Completely agree with everyone in here!! Now just picture things might get worst, I live in a third world country, getting paid as little as $2 an hour, answering back to back calls from miserable suckers getting screwed by companies...call centers really suck! Don't even consider working in one, and if you do, find something else to do as soon as possible, that is what I'll do at least!

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  8. I've been working call centre work for just over 10 years, and I am depressed as hell! No matter where I've worked, it's always the same bullshit. What you've talked about is what I've experienced for the last 10 years.
    I always find if you are doing good at your job, you get an email saying "good job" but oh no, If you do something wrong... we have to have a meeting to discuss these "issues"
    The problem now is finding a job that doesn't involve call centre work. I hope that day comes soon... or else I'm going to fucking flip out!

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  9. It was like your where writing my thoughts. I hate this fucking job. Been doing this shit for over 15 years and I can't get out.

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  10. i totally agree, after 8 weeks of training (ha ha), real life begins, endless monitoring, you always need to be working on something, aht, sales, adherence etc, then guess what a customer doesn't hang up after a long pointless call and hears you sigh f''''' hell. even though it wasn't at her, but hey she can take it to the highest complaint level and get you fired. Who cares if you can pay your bills or mortgage, zero tolerance if you work there, only customers have carte blanche to grind you to dust;

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  11. This place sounds exactly the same point for point and just could not resist emailing a couple of people I know think the same thing. I couldn't believe the response I got, actually turned everyone's moods around, realised they weren't alone. Everyone cared so less that we all had a great time.
    I gotta say I have recently changed jobs to another call centre in a completely different frame of work thinking that it was the product, it was the monotonous scripts over and over and that horrible greeting. Thought that I was sick of the company and the management taking people for granted...until I moved. Now I've realised only after a week (a week is ALL it took) that its the calls, its the headset, its the ringing in my ears, the constant cough and the constant fake arse fucking phone voice you have. It doesn't matter what you sell, what you save. Doesn't matter what rapport you build, what conversion you have. Doesn't matter what your KPI's are or even if you have them. They are all the fucking same and they are fucking soul suckers. I've just decided to leave the country. I'm actually off to Europe for a year, can't believe a job made me want to get out of the country.

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  12. What you have written is very interesting. If some peoples is in this position , they must make the move to change their career and to look for something better. For serious peoples, I have seen a very good workshop here Plan Your Escape From Corporate Cage

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  13. I agree with everything! Thank you for posting this!

    I work in a call centre for a very "secretive" company. So secretive that we aren't allow to be trained on anything until AFTER it comes out. So we spend 1-2 weeks dealing with irate customers because we literally have no fucking idea what they are talking about every time a new update or product comes out :(

    I have never felt such a crippling depression in my life. (I actually thought depression was fake bullshit until I became depressed from working here.)

    You never really realize how STUPID and RUDE people are until you work in a call centre. Every time a customer is a piece of shit to me I write down a terrible wish for them. (Their entire family gets cancer, their wife dies in a brutal gang rape, their children are beaten to death infront of them.)

    That's how much I hate my job.

    3 more months until I leave (starting my own business) I am so done with working for other people, I will NEVER do it again.

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  14. Working in a call centre the last 3 years- Have an honours degree in Business & HRM, this job was a "stepping stone" until I got something that related to my degree.
    After 3 long,horrible,depressing years I am still working here!!
    I go to work every day & get spoken to by complete & utter idiots who treat me like I'm thick. Its as if they think we are stupid people with no education.. Sorry, just said people there- I meant robots. Do these thick fu#kers realise that we too are human,have families & bills to pay & are only in this job because there is NOTHING else out there, otherwise they'd have nobody to speak to when they are in a bad mood at 7am in the morning and decide to call a call centre to take their frustrations out on a complete stranger.
    In relation to something mentioned above re managers, we have to keep our call time to a minimum,yet if a customer is looking for a refund we have to just push them over the edge by saying NO first & wait for them to get really irate before we say let me pop you on hold,in which we do while twiddling our thumbs & go back & do it.
    If we are completely on the right & customer in the wrong we can spend an hour arguing over when they can just ask for a manager & I've found 9 times out of 10 the manager just couldn't be bothered,spends one minute on the phone to the customer apologising and refunding everything & hey we'll give you $40goodwill credit just because the manager is meeting their colleagues for a nice relaxed cup if tea.
    Working in a call centre is completely & utterly degrading,depressing,soul destroying shit that anyone in their right mind should stay away from. I would rather live in a cardboard box & have nothing than work there if it was only myself to think about.
    I am hoping in the near future to win the lotto so I can walk away, but not before vocalising my thoughts to management & a few customers!!! Here's hoping :D

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  15. My husband used to work for a call center and after awhile experienced crippling depression, which I didn't understand until I started working in a call center myself. Call center work is draining, depressing, and mentally taxing. I couldn't enjoy my evenings anymore because I would find myself counting down the hours until I had to go to bed and wake up the next morning. I have never harbored so much hate for the general public in my entire life, and there is nothing worse than being yelled at, cursed at or threatened by some asshat because they're experiencing a problem. There were some nice people who would occasionally call, but this was not the norm and this did not make up for the countless assholes who called in. I remember the feelings of dread every time that stupid beep would ring in and a fleeting thought as to whether or not I should just hang up on them would creep into my mind. My coworkers were also soulless and empty, as if someone had drained the life out of them.... Oh yes that's right, the assholes did that!

    People say we're supposed to be grateful to have a job in this economy. I say go to hell.

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  16. Hey guys, I just left my job at call center 1 month ago and I feel like a new person. Depression, headaches, bad mood disappeared, I feel like I can enjoy life again. My advice - if you hate this job just drop it asap. It will get worse if you continue, believe me, and it can seriously affect your health, I started feeling some chest pains and blood pressure issues and I immediately handled my notice. Now when I don't have to be tied to a shitty headset and speak to idiots anymore, everything came back to normal without any medications!

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  17. The quality of service offered is a key part of the firms strategy and highly motivated and educated employees are a key to success.
    Outsourcing Contact Centres

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    1. I am so happy I found this blog; it has cheered me up no end. Everything you say is true; those few who have posted positive things about working in call centres have never worked in a real call centre.

      My biggest fear is that in the area I live in permanent jobs are rare, and while I can stand the horror of enduring this place for as long as I need the pittance of an income, I have a son who is currently 14 and this hellhole may be his only feasible option of getting a job. He is smart and has many friends and I hope that he will be able to find something else - anything else.

      God bless you. Please keep adding more call centre bullshit. You do it so well.

      Delete
  18. Lol this is the funniest thing ive ever read! One thing you missed though was the bullshit incentives, for example getting some cheap ass wine if you get 5 deals in a day or something stupid like that.....dudes seriously I have a full time job - if i wanted wine i'd buy it myself - im only getting sales to keep my fucking job so i can pay me rent and buy food patronising fuckers

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  19. My friends! Of course, I feel your pain. Yes, I forgot all about those bullshit incentives; "oh sure, I'll work my nuts off smashing those calls in the hope of winning a bottle of Becks; it'll top me up nicely after having spent the day necking Vodka in my water bottle anyway because it's the only way I can get through this waking nightmare without breaking down in tears."

    I will update my blog soon with more Call Centre Bullshit; I have been on hiatus for a while sucking up to a new employer, however this place has so many degrees of fucking bullshit Will Hunting himself with a compass and calculator would struggle to make sense of it.

    And I seriously hope those of you on that whole slippery slope to depression and anxiety can keep it together. With the bank holiday weekend just around the corner, it reminded me of the days when I would finish on a Friday, spend the weekend dreading going back to work, fretting on Bank Holiday Monday counting down the hours and not sleeping Monday night. People who have never experienced life in a Call Centre simply cannot understand.

    The Call Centre at my place now is a fucking travesty; some of the shit they say and do is unbelievable. I'm surprised some of the managers can even get out of bed and dress themselves in the morning. The 'big cheese' here is this botox-browed, leather faced haggard looking fuck of a woman, with a shrill voice like jagged tin lid scraping on a blackboard, and clothes so inappropriate she looks like she just made the walk of shame from an over sixties gangbang.

    But I won't ramble on now. An update is coming over the weekend, and I'm no less fucking angry about all of this stupid Call Centre Bullshit that plagues our society. I HATE CALL CENTRES.

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    1. I hope you found a better work situation. I found your blog a year or so back by Google searching “Fuck call centers” and I’ve kept it bookmarked ever since

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  20. I agree with it all! At my call center that I USED to work at we would get report cards every 2 weeks! REPORT CARDS like it's GRADE SCHOOL!We used to get 'talked to' if we took a piss for too long because it would hurt your time stats!STATS! Can you believe this? I am a grown man with no negative intentions, but when you treat me like an enemy in my own workplace, there is something wrong here! I am a literate individual that has a degree, but that does not matter to them! Nooo, just as long as you appease the customer, that's all they care about! Well guess what? How am I supposed to do better if this job is so downgrading? I'm tired of these so called managers speaking to me in a condescending way over peanuts like forgetting my coffee mug on my desk! Oh well, I won't do it again...no need to ruin my 5 hours of afternoon that I have off for myself that I'm actually counting down until I return to another 'great day' of assholes peeving in my ear like I'm some sort of Bobo doll. And then getting asked for my 'manger' because I was not smiling into the telephone! So one day I decided to quit! Just like that! I told them to blow me. And now...I get to live happily ever after, without the worry of meds,booze,or smokes to elevate my mood.

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  21. i take the sender works for BT lots of bt jargon there i work for 12 years and guess what your right every word

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  22. I loved working at a call center. It was one of the happiest jobs I had after High School. I guess I loved it because I did what I was supposed to do. I worked their full time while attending College full time and moved on into my career field after graduation. While I admit I cross trained on any job I could to get me off the phones and ended coaching/seasonal mgr etc, the job itself was better than most people without a college degree in that age group were doing (i.e mall clerk, fast food joint).I am not saying the blog postings are all false. A lot of those issues are true. However if you expect the job to be those things then you are not surprised by it. I made a ton of friends and have a lot of memories and experiences with people I met at the call center I was at. Many of us have moved on to different careers, married, started families. I guess I was lucky.

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  23. I also wanted to add that there are similar blogs about all kinds of jobs. The common denominator is People. People f/ck up jobs for other people. I know people in Government jobs and Corporate jobs that have the same complaints. I was much happier and less likely to head towards "depression" at my Call Center job than I am currently at my Corporate job. The stakes are higher. There is a lot more to lose and a lot father to fall down if things go left. I have found that I'm the most happiest at jobs based on the companies environment. Even the blog owner admitted to enjoying his Call Center job when things were more worker friendly and personally freeing.

    At my old Call Center job, my boss allowed me to study for school between calls. My coworkers were mostly in my age group so we partied together after work and had fun at the job in general. The atmosphere was happy and not pretentious and everyone knew when to tow the line and handle business. There were some negatives, like the obvious separation between Call Center employees and Corporate but we really payed them no mind. At that age we didn't mind working holidays because most of us didn't have marriages or kids to be home for. We were the "kids" so to speak and triple pay was great if you worked on the holidays. Plus at my company, everybody worked the holidays, no exceptions. We also had a schedule exchange board in the system. So you could switch schedules with anybody or someone else could pick up an extra shift.

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  24. i like the part where these shitheads treat you like your the most important part of the business, but wait! you get paid by shit..and the managers and the directors are getting 5x your salary..while they sit the whole day pretending that they are also busy checking the stats...not all but most...fuck them!!!

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    1. Stat monkeys yep fuck them!!

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  26. im coming up to my 16th yr in call centres and its bollocks,dont get me wrong if you find the right call centre and there are some out there then its a piss easy job with feel good rewards,but its like a needle in a haystack,the good ones seem to be taken,i need a new job role,would chop of my left nut to get out of the whole call centre life

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  27. Call centre work is fucking shit, I hate working in one, nothing but moaning wankers crying because THEY didn't pay their bills. I often wish painful, terminal illness on them and their fucking scumbag kids. The day I leave the place will be the day I give a customer (insignificant worm) the full brunt of my anger, I may even debit them £10000 for a laugh. CUNTS

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  28. I switched over to a job in call centre management this year and it was a huge mistake. I was told I would regret the move but I didn't listen. I now truly believe that being plugged into a system and talking to idiotic customers all day really screws you up. I had so many conversations with both consultants and other managers that made me shake my head in disbelief. Every conversation was either bizarre or completely inapropriate. I could see that the staff had no idea how to communicate in a normal way to other people. And the team leaders were the worst. They had so much attitude because they deemed themselves as important and in charge of people, but they were not quite management which made them irritated. After my first week there, I knew I had made a mistake in choosing the job. After the first three months I was begging my previous employer to take me back and after six months I had lodged so many grievances against my co managers for harassment, victimisation and sexual harassment that the company had no choice but to let me go to avoid legal entanglements. I felt sad when I left because I really felt that I was making the call centre a better place to work for the people at the bottom but the team leaders and other managers saw that as weakness and they came after me because of it. Staff were saying that they've started enjoying working there since I started working there but this was because I treated them as human which no one in the call industry would ever think of doing.

    My advice: avoid call centres at all cost, and if you can't, then use the time there to look for another job.

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  29. It is the being forced to be professional and polite to members of the public who whinge about the most trivial matters as if they were life or death and as if these highly trivial matters are a matter of life and death and how you personally have breached their human rights. You have to listen and are forced to be civil and polite to them because the calls are recorded. (whereas in real life you wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire)! 100 calls a day like this will reduce ANYONE to a quivering wreck.

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  30. Have worked in a call centre for 13 years, about half of which I was a team leader. I was eventually retrenched after a horrible, horrible appointment to I've recently been diagnosed with depression which I'm not really surprised by.
    What really surprised me was the
    contempt my fellow team leaders and
    other management had for the phone

    staff. After my retrenchment, I took another call centre job just on the phones again. Same shit, they all sing from the same hymn. This will bee my final year that I do this.

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  31. totally agree showed this to all the people i work with , they agree , its like you work at the same company but then after working in a lot of call centers they are all the same, its like anyone that sets up a cal center goes to the same corporate bullshit training company and rolls out a generic way of dealing with staff and customers. fuck my job

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  32. fantastic blog, every word is true. I have just been signed off with depression and put on antidepressants. It's a soul destroying job, if you have never worked in a call centre before then don't even consider it, if you are currently in a call centre at the moment and can just quit then do it immediately, it will only get worse and worse. Well done to the writer of this article, you couldn't have expressed how I feel anymore accurately if you tried and I genuinely applaud you for it, it made me smile and at times laugh at loud - a welcome change to the way I've been feeling lately so THANK YOU :)

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  33. I worked in a call centre for a debt collection company. I took calls from people in debt and threatened with bankruptcy, people on benefits, people who were illiterate, people who couldn't speak english, and every other low life scumbag you can possibly think of. When I wasn't doing that, I was leaving messages on people's answering machines begging us to give us a call. Management would employ various devices to keep the worker drones content. Daily games such as group snake and ladders, who can throw a paper airplane the furthest, 'play your cards right' etc. Some retarded manager would literally spend hours devising these games, with team leaders assisting. Every other month or so they would pester staff to an evening out at a local pub, paid for by the company. Naturally, what could be a funner night out than seeing your idiotic managers pissed off their faces talking shit. Then, of course, was the day trip out to do some group bonding/brainstorming/brainwashing etc. Employee of the month awards and monthly meeting with the CEO, so he can say to people he keeps in touch with the worker ants of the company. What makes it sad is that the employees whom I worked with believed all this crap, and actually felt that faint false glimmer of validation for all their hard work and that management actually gave two fucks about them. It's just so said to see people with such low aspirations in life.

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  34. Thanks for posting this blog. Everything you say basically mirrors my experience. Unfortunately after 4 and a half years, I still work in a call centre. The customers are as thick as pig shit it's unbelievable. I mean, now due to someone being available at the end of the phone, customers don't seem to need to use their brains to work out the simplest of things. Some struggle with their name and date of birth. Wankers!! I don't know how they cope with the day to day running of their lives they are so damn stupid I cannot find any other words for them!

    I work in in inbound call centre and deal with idiots all day, some colleagues are included in that too I'm afraid.

    IFA = Independent Fucking Arsholes. I have a hatred for IFA's now. Especially the women who phone up and talk shit rather than just get to the point. Oh and placed ME on hold because the dumbarse wamkers don't have the required information to complete security even though this requirement is made clear in the IVR. Useless pieces of shit.

    The sound of people breathing, coughing, clearing their throat down the phone with no apology for busting my eardrum offends me. I HATE talking on my own phone now and prefer to email/text. Thank goodness there are these options!

    When callers phone and the husband/wife as chatting shit in the background and going on and on about the caller to 'say this, say that'. I just want to tell him or her to shut the fudge up so I can on with the call and end it as soon as.

    My team leader is full of shit, always running about but never seems to do much. Always banging on abut 'stats' shift adherence' bullshit. Yet on the occasions where I speak to an arsehole toward the end of my shift I'm expected to carry on the call in MY effing time. Screw that. I have a little system of my own now to ensure I do NOT stay beyond what I get paid for. Screw the customer, screw politeness, not in my time bitch! This job has changed my perception of humans, I do not like a lot of them now.

    When I get home from work I'm truly tired mentally. Even as soon as I get out of the workplace and walk home, god help anyone who talks to me or gets in my way. I just want to be left alone and not hear or even see humans for a while.

    I'm currently looking for another job and I will be leaving call canter work this year come hell or high water. I cannot wait to hand in my notice. I will smile like a Cheshire cat! Screw a leaving do, even my colleagues piss me off at the moment. Some are like robots and cannot think for themselves. I still have my spirit and say how I feel at work. That's the reason I got the job and after 4 and a half years if the dumb arse bosses don't like it now, they can kiss my arse! My mental health has deteriorated since I started there and my sanity is worth more than helping a dumb arse IFA and customers with zero common sense.

    The bastards have access to us call handlers via a freephone number so when they call from a land line and the freaks are in a crap mood they have no reason to just hang up they just stay on the line like desperate hyenas looking for their piece of raw meat and not giving up until they get what they want.

    Call centres are truly shit and anyone who enjoys their work in one is dead on the inside.




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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. You have demonstrated an iron will sticking at this shit for four years; my longest stint was about a year and a half. I feel your pain. I hope you have been able to move on.

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  35. I have worked in a few call centres and must say it's the same shit different smell.. Every morning I find it a mission to get up for the day I have ahead.. I have an msc in management and cannot even find a job other then a call centre.. It has really broken me but I still continue to work at a cal center because I need a job and thr dole money Jurt covers my car expense if that. Everytime I go in the call centre it's a awkward blur.. Voices in mt head telling me oh no not again.. It's a vicious circle and so hard getting through everyday.. All thr stuff said is a true reflection of call centre life in uk.. If the wages were better then I must admit it would be slightly more bearable but being on minimum wage and have your sanity taken Is mentally draining.. I hope to leave ASAP before I feel like ending my life

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  36. I work in a callcenter for a Belgium cable company and I feel like crucifying my manager and drowning my teamleaders in battery accid. I absolutely abhore this job and I cannot wait to quit.

    Everything you wrote down is perfectly what I have to endure in my everyday suffering and you forgot how everything is supposed to be fun and you need to be passionate in your job... The only thing I became passionate at is hating my job.

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  37. hahahaha.. I agree but not totally into it!

    Not for rich country with lots of job options... 3rd world countries will eat this plain and simple. Just give us bread and butter and we will take care of your shits.. "I'm more than happy to assist - with a fake smile"

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  38. THIS BLOG IS A PERFECT VENUE TO VENT ALL YOUR FRUSTRATIONS AT WORK> .. But, COME'ON GUYS .lets FACE IT. NOWADAYS , ITS NOT THAT EASY TO FIND A NEW JOB AND REPLACE WHATEVER YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW IN JUST A WINK OF AN EYE. JUMPING FROM ONE COMPANY TO ANOTHER TAKES TIME AND EFFORT AND BIG,BIG SAVINGS .MORE DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT A CAREER CHANGE IN JUST A SINGLE SNAP. TELLING YOURSELF TO BE AT THE CALLCENTRE AS A TEMPORARY THING, WELL LIE TO YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT OR ELSE DIE WITH WONDERING HOW YOUR LIFES GONNA WORK. OR MAKE USE OF THE AVAILABLE AND MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT . THATS ALL .THANK U.

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    1. But it isn't a lie. When you work in a call centre you are fucked for the rest of your life, unless you luck out like I did. It;'s easier to keep your dignity signing on the dole than admitting to people you work in a call centre, because for all of your attempts to give your job a title that suggests you DON'T work in a call centre, everyone can see through your bullshit and think of you as their loser friend in a dead end job.

      Delete
  39. Hate is not a strong enough word to describe what I feel right now after speaking to assholes all day long! You get moaned at because the company you work for is shit and the company moans at you for having a dissatisfied customer even though you try your best to resolve the issue. I feel like I work with a bunch of robots and management are so far up their own a** they don't care because they aren't the ones on the phones! It doesn't matter if you have a college qualification/degree as the customer is always right even when they have no clue what they are talking about when they talk to you like your a dumb person reading off a script! The amount of work you put in does not compensate for the crap you get from customers. I have been very patient but feel that this job has been affecting my life and cannot wait to get out of it! I am also glad after reading these comments that I am not the only one who feels this way. Good luck to all those reading this who are in the same situation on finding another job..

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  40. I agree completely with everything you have said, I am a Quality Analyst for a call centre, absolute bullshit position!!

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  41. So basically you are just a walking attitude problem - and you are wondering why you can't get a job anywhere else?

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  43. Fucking great man, well worth the read. Fuck call centers and telemarketing jobs, the "customers" can all get fucked as well.

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  44. Yeah i have just returned to a call center. Never had a job in any other industry, when i left my last call center job i said NEVER AGAIN!......but nothing was out there and so back i go.

    Training is depressing as shit as i am surrounded by people who have never worked in a call center, believe all the bullshit and i am branded an "emotional vampire" because i know exactly what kind of fucking hell i am walking into and they don't.

    I would happily take an even crappier wage for not wanting to slit my wrists every morning at the idea of speaking to the dregs of humanity on the phone or the walking mascots for whatever call center i am in at the time.

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  45. This sounds how I would describe it word for word! Fuck this shit!

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  46. Ive been trying to get out of working in a call center,been doing it at different ones for 7-8 years, I was on fmla it was so stressful,I get panic attacks im on meds....I have a degree but its like it doesn't matter to employers , is there a career coach I can go to ? Im going to go insane if I keep having to work in call centers. I know people say learn new skills go back to school but i can't afford to go back to college and im mentally dead at end of shift.

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  47. This is beautiful. I hope this message gets to the author of this blog because what you've written is probably the most truthful and relateable thing I've ever read in my entire life. I've experienced nearly every point (save for the holiday part since I've only been working a few months but I expect that to change) you wrote verbatim.

    The fun but utterly useless training, the absolute confusion afterwards, the crushing depression from working this job, the stupid objection handling, the idiocy of the no paper policy, and just about everything else.

    I absolutely despise working at a call center and I can't tell you how good it is to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this and I'm sorry I'm writing this anomalously, but I am reading this on one of the ancient computers in the lounge at work.

    I'll probably pop on later to thank you with a proper name. Seriously this has done wonders for my mood and mental health!

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    1. Me too anonymous, I type this as I sit in my depressing call centre job. This piece has put a smile on my face to know I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. All the more to push me on to get a better job!

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    2. Thank you for your words. Feeling stuck working at that electronic sweat shop taking to stupid Americans about shit is so fucking draining.

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    3. My pleasure... it's amazing how easy it is to write about something which is such a burning passion, be it good or bad. I have, over the years, developed a form of PTSD when it comes to call centres, just being in the proximity of the call centre in my building gives me disturbing levels of anxiety. You are not alone

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  48. This is hilarious..ridiculously accurate..these are my exact thoughts even better described than I could have in my own head. I need a new f#cking job before I go insane. Thank you for ten minutes of a great read before I go back to my mind numbing job to speak to absolute idiots. Thank u

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    1. A year later, I hope things are going better pal!

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  49. This text is worth everyone’s attention.I agree completely with everything you have said free business calls.

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  50. I'm currently working at call center. It's the same as you describe. I sell "medical equipment" to senior citizens, covered by their medical insurance. I'm so fucking tired of hearing the customers complain about their joint pain and them not being able to understand what the damn postcards they get in the mail say. Some do, and yet they feel the necessity to call us and say they're not interested. If you don't want it, just throw the card away. And if you keep getting the cards, again, throw them away! You don't have to complain to me over the phone, damn it. Seriously, the idiotic customers, the headset that makes my earlobes hurt. I really do go to the bathroom just to take a mini break from the shit. And the damn voice that announces the inbound calls, f**k. The only thing that made it worth coming to work, was being able to joke around with my co-workers. But now that we have a new "client", they upped the volume of calls we get, so now we're lucky if we get 5 seconds in between calls, up until the last hour of the shift, when the calls die down. And damn it when you get a call five minutes just before you're supposed to punch out, and that particular customer wants to buy something.

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  51. My husband is back!!! I had a problem with my husband 8 months ago,which lead to us apart. When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I felt so empty inside .Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped her in same problem too that she found on a television program. i emailed the spell caster and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me. To cut the story short,Before I knew what was happening,not up to 48 hours,my husband gave me a call and he come back to me and told me he was sorry about what has happened, I'm so grateful to this spell caster and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he has done for me.If you need his help,you can email him at (ezizaspellhome@gmail.com)or tel +2347068534025.....thank you sir great Dr.EZIZA for all that you do and i greatly appreciate that.

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  52. You are my hero! Thank you for writing this. Sadly, I cannot escape the call center. I worked for the biggest bank in USA for 10 years, used my time out on medical leave for depression to go back to school and earned a useless certification as a medical assistant :-/ I thought I had escaped the monotony of the banking call center and pictured myself working in a hospital really helping people, not just waiving a damn late fee or lowering an interest rate to retain an asshole customer. Found out the hard way-The pay was shit, no health benefits and I worked from sun up to sun down for a cheap egotistical cardiologist. Needless to say after 6 months of making a couple bucks above minimum wage, another Bank roped me in. During training this place seemed like the Google of banking. They had people riding around on scooters shooting nerf guns. They provided bagels, cereal, coffee, and tea! It was better than what some hotels provide you, I couldn't believe it! They were all about making the employee happy so we can make the customer happy.. Here I am 10 months into this shit 15 lbs heavier and miserable as fuck. Our department head jumped ship 7 months ago and shit got real. No more nerf guns or scooters and everyone is scared to take a piss. We were told we had to be more "professional" so everyone was forced to rid their cubicles of anything offensive.You can never find the managers or team leads they are always holed up in a "meeting" with the doors closed and blinds down. Our customers hate us because something is always fucked up with our shitty system, and magically their payroll deposits are delayed, or they can't log into their account online. I feel like shit lying to these customers and blaming the missing money on their employer when I know it's our POS bank. I have a kid and a mortgage, I can't afford to go back to school again. Maybe in 10 years when I'm 40 I can finally make my escape and figure out what I want to be when I grow up. In the meantime I'll be sitting here imagining kicking my manager in the balls while I scream at every dumb ass customer that calls asking why their balance is negative when they know they spent their last $10 on dominos pizza!

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    1. They made it seem like the Google of banking! Yes! That's a perfectly encapsulating turn of phrase. I may borrow that for future publications

      Delete
  53. We can systemize call center setup for your business to provide extra efficiency.

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  54. I agree with everything in this article.

    I currently work in a call center.
    Every position I've had has been more soul sucking than the last.
    Work ethic and hard work are rewarded with adding more work to your plate. I haven't had a bonus in a year.
    I never see my family or friends and even though I am great at my job, I can't even get an interview with a real company.

    I go to work each day thinking. Will this be the day I lose my shit and tell all of my ass backwards bosses to return to hell and tell their king I said, "what's up".

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  55. I totally agree with every true thing in this article. The boring LinkedIn threads on how to be better and more productive blah de blah de blah dreamt up by some idiot who either was a business baby (someone who has never ever worked anywhere else in their lives nor the imagination to do so) or some self important over paid bloody CEO who more often than not has about as much common sense as a chocolate biscuit. I have been that agent who has won prizes, top this top that such a wonderful phone manner Have had customers eating out of my hands like the little birds in Disney films. I've also had tirades of abuse, threats and even called police out to someone 4 counties away. I don't think I have not heard one form or another of abuse or excuse or begging for something because they didn't read the T&C in the first place. Don't get me wrong I loved giving excellent gold trimmed above and beyond service but I don't want to be told how long I can have to take a piss and please, for the love of God; stop the bloody disease spreading practice of desk hopping. No one likes it and you can guarantee it makes people sick. If your staff are really happy they will be good at their job and you won't have revolving door nonsense we are not Battery Hens as I've seen businesses that have rushed into having a call centre have rushed into administration shortly afterwards.
    This article needs to be aired on LinkedIn and other sites showing the real side of call centres as all the modern deco theorists and what if we rebranded? articles should really be asking where did we go wrong and how do we put it right rather than releasing 'cute' mascots or colour changes after all a chameleon can be pretty much any colour it wants but it doesn't mean it is any better than it was before or in some cases covering shit with glitter doesn't make it a candy bar.

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  56. Thanks for putting it how it is , I work in a call centre and swear one day I'm gonna go fucking mental with a shotgun.
    My only highlight of the day is laughing at the midget who sits across from me.
    My management team are a bunch of cunts and I've now condensed my hours into 4 days so I get. Day off .
    I'm now on anti depressants and always get told I'm a model employee truth is I'm a cunt and mock them all the time.
    I'm asking for a transfer to a mom telephony role if they don't I'm gonna plead insanity and turn up for work with my face half shaved dribbling on my phone .
    My family don't understand why I hate my job .

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    1. Wish I had a midget to laugh at. All I've got is a dumb scrag who ends every sentence with a rhetorical question.

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  57. I'm sitting in Mt call center as we speak. I just put a customer on hold with a 'technical issue' so I could finish this post. I agree 1100% and glad I found this cuz I think my girlfriend is sick of me bitching to her

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  58. I work for Sitel in panama and i work for a project called capital one, im currently a mentor and my salary is the same, the manager of that project actually bullshit us all the motherfucker time with bonus we are hundreds of robots and only a handful (5 im a great day) wins a puny 200 usd bonus and they demand from you to make a gigantic 2500 usd dollars per hour,we need to collect money from assholes who doesnt has anytjing else to do to call the damn number just to say " i cant pay" or to ask for ways she can have the fucking acct current without paying nothing, and they ask you for a tons of kpi and if you go thru all of that you might be elegible for a bonus, we get paid 3.47 an hout and our output is 2500 usd per hour per agent, and whem the " client" ( representative of capital one) comes he bullshit us that he will improve the damn place and we work on shitty computer out salary is a misery for thr amount we do and sincerely i wish every single asshole who calls to burm in hell and i hate capital one i hate sitel and i hate avaya for cresting such a terrible fuckimg tool i hate hp and dell for them selling computer to thesr assholes,

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    1. Dam Girl i quit capitol one too its a nightmare working in that place ,hope you will be out soon.

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  59. I applied for a call centre job; I'm glad I didn't get it. I only applied for it because of the pay and location, but reading this has validated for me everything I suspected the job was going to be like. Got a job in a nice, quiet office instead.

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    1. Yes yes yes!!! You are most welcome. You may never understand the glorious fucking nightmare you have just sidestepped. On your worst day when the toilet busts wide open and you are knee deep in shit alone in a cubicle with a meeting in five minutes it's still better than your best day in a call centre.

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  60. Im glad im seeing panama callcenters i am working in apac that is in arraijan(name of the place) for dell, they want you to follow up on customers and they want you to do all type of shit, but there are sexual harrasers as suprrvisors, there are supervisors who has inmunity and they can do whatever the fuck they want, and yes you are damn right we atr expendable as a condom, you have to stay sometimes overnight with no pay ar all, becaise we have to do the follow up, if my damn shift at hell ends at 6 im going out, want me to stay pay me you cheap ass bastard fuck apac fuck sitel fuck nars(now radius) fuck dell fuck them all and i hope that the owners burm in hell

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  61. This was, without any doubt in my mind, the most poignant and the TRUEST commentary about call centre life. You are a God good sir, you have hit the nail on the head as I prepare to give in my two weeks tomorrow. I spent 7 years (basically my 20s) working in call centres and wasting some of my best years on a garbage career path. Sure the pay is good at first, but the bigger picture becomes clear very quickly. I was blind, but now I see. Thank you for this brilliant piece!

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    1. You're welcome brother, spread the word.

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  62. I worked in cc for almost 3 months... in poland, but I guess call centres are same shit no matter what country. One day I decided I'm done, send sms to the leader that I'm quitting and felt like best day of my life <3 No more idiots (aka customers) calling me 'jewish pig':P I've really been called that once :P

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    1. Call Centre misery knows no borders or nationailties, as we see from this comment. I have quit a few my friend and yeah it's a GREAT feeling.

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  63. If you're reading this, please don't ever take a job in a call center. I've worked in for 2 1/2 years and never again. What this blog is saying is all true.

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  64. call center Software use call center for handle call with IVR GURU CALL CENTER SOFTWARE

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  65. This was worth reading! Everybody hates call centres who ever has to use them. Which is pretty well everybody. But I've always thought how much worse it must be actually to work in one. Polly Toynbee, UK journalist, wrote a book a few years ago, entitled Hard Work: Life in Low Pay Britain. She had some awful experiences, but the only job which finished her after just one morning was the one in the call centre. She couldn't face even one more shift.

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    1. Worst job ever. Worst people. Worst managers. Don't do it.

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  66. I've never worked in a call center, until 2 years go. I agree with the writer 110%, I know what he's talking about, from begining to end. I took the job out of desperation, thinking I would land a job in my old profession. Well, I haven't landed a job in my old profession, so I'm stuck in call center hell. Currently I'm seeing a psychologist, due to the daily stress and anxiety I go thru at my call center job.

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    1. Get well and good luck moving on, it's hard work, but you'll come out like Tim Robbins at the end of Shawshank Redemption. That arms raised in the rain scene at the end reminds me very much of my first promotion which meant no more phones.

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    2. now that is comforting...you do realise he was inside for 20 years...?

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  67. Why don't you LOOK for a better job you like with people you respect instead of spewing your bitterness on everyone else and staying stuck year in year out? Be proactive, not lazy! Maybe the real problem is your negative, angry,self-pitying attitudes.

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    1. You sound like a clueless moron. Once you do one job people act like that is the only thing you can do. You take a call center job, your screwed at finding a new job. The bitterness is called for. The problem is the call centers and HR reps who are prejudice against the workers. Also people like you are the problem. How did you get your job? Did your dad pull some strings down at the box factory?

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    2. Honestly you have no idea about the real world. You can apply all you like for better jobs but if no one will have you, you lack the "experience" even though you have great skills. The prejudice against call centre workers is disgusting.

      Call centre work i draining and soul destroying. bosses treat you like a battered wife, you start to believe you're no good for anything else.

      The real problem is rubbish jobs and people who are entitled brats.

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  68. You're probably an overeducated underachiever with an entitlement mentality. Shall I call you a Waahmbulance? Get a better job. Your mama is tired of you living in her basement! Lol

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    1. And how, precisely, did you happen to stumble upon this blog? I'm just wondering how and why someone with such a noticeable sense of superiority would end up reading and commenting on a post entitled 'I hate call centres'? Methinks it may be you taking up space in your mama's basement....

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  69. Yeah, that's about it. Career is fucking ruined by liars and assholes who play fucking games. Here is the deal though. That model is being emulated through other industries. Even if you do escape other people pull the same shit in same crap in other places. I may make minimum wage doing labor but at least I am not in a fucking call center. I spent years and years in call centers. It was all wasted time.

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    1. I would be prouder shovelling shit for minimum wage than admitting I work in a call centre.

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  70. Marry me. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Last week I thought I was having a heart attack before work (I'm 29!) and was rushed to the hospital. Turns out, it was a massive panic attack. I've been sick for months and vomiting/having horrific diarrhea daily before work and I truly feel that this job is killing me. Sadly, I cannot quit until I find another job and the only jobs reaching it to me are other call centers. I feel so hopeless and lost. All I do is cry. As I'm writing this there are 8 calls in queue and i cannot find a single fuck to give. I'm glad I'm not alone, I just wish there was an end in sight.

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    1. There is, you just need to luck out with a boss who takes a shine to you and be able to tow the corporate line for long enough to get your break. I was lucky, really lucky but it can happen. I know EXACTLY what you are going through now, word for word. ihatecallcentres@gmail.com feel free to drop me a line if it gets on top of you, I can regail you with many tales of how I got through it

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  71. I finally escaped the call center after 2.5 years. Everything in this blog is true.

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    1. Congratulations, we are a dying breed you and I.

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  74. Inflatable Reindeer11 August 2016 at 17:44

    I have been working at an inbound call centre for only a few months. I've completely lost my ability to enjoy anything even on my days off. I wake up in cold sweats and have unrelated thoughts rushing through my mind at all waking moments. I want to end up in a technical field but this job is scrambling my mind, unable to remember anything outside of the job, or learn anything new. I believe the call centre industry tethers you to itself mentally, much like you are physically tethered to the phone. I think this is a large part of why people become "stuck" in it.

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    1. I hear you on the days off, there was no relaxing on the lucky few occasions there were two weekend days together. It just became a countdown based on going back to work again.

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  75. I've only worked 3 call center jobs in my life in my short span of time spent in the workforce. I'm only 21 years old, and I just recently lost my job as a custodian.. I've been jobless for the past 7 months, and as a last resort I applied to a call center. I scheduled the interview, and the day I was suppose to be interviewed; I didn't even show up. Work at call centers is horrible. The people there are filled with absolutely no ambition what so ever, and the management are fucking worse than retarded seals. I'd rather be dead or homeless living under a bridge; then to work at another fucking call center. This shit drains the very life, and your very hope and dreams out of your soul. I can fully understand why people get stuck at these jobs though.. It's the fact that you're so exhausted after you come out that you don't even have the energy to apply for other jobs. Or the fact that even if you have Saturday, and Sunday off you're constantly thinking about making your way to work.. When I worked at all the previous call center jobs I had; I was borderline suicidal, and greatly despised humanity for this travesty. Now i'm so scared of having to ever make my way back to working in a call center that I'd rather remain in my jobless situation.

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    1. "I'd rather be dead or homeless living under a bridge; then to work at another fucking call center."

      People often think that's an exaggeration. It really isn't. We know.

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  76. this is so true, I need this to make myself realize my worth and not let my mind rot in call centers! Fucking smokers everywhere and people with no professionalism at all.

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  78. Problem is even when applying a lot of places don't call you back, or you just don't make it to the end. I mean, if you're applying to places while working at a call center, it's because you're applying to things "one step" up or "entry level" in some field, whilst still having whatever training you previously had. Very discouraging..all the more so when you can "transition" to another silly call center so much easier compared to getting out.

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    1. Every day I'm checking my system to see if i have been monitored and to see if I've flunked a call. And what do you know? I flunked for something stupid that noone should have been flunked on a call for. And everyday I wait for another call that I will be caught doing something wrong for. Everyday I live in fear of saying something wrong and failing my call for. My job is about fear. Living in fear everyday

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  79. Reading this made me feel so much better.. I'm not a depressed fucktard... I'm a degree qualified intelligent person working nights in a call centre so I can be at home with my baby during the day.. Thank you for this post and thread... I feel better about myself knowing that others feel/felt the same.

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    1. I've worked with people in call centres with degrees in all sorts of subjects, from history to software programming. All great people who should be anywhere else with their education. Trust me my friend, we're bred to think there is great nobility in doing something we hate for the sake of our kids, and that having their picture sitting on our desks if we're fortunate enough to be allowed this little piece of normality is enough to remind us why we're there and get us through the day, but sooner or later you will break - get out while you can, before your kids picture just becomes a hollow meaningless thing that's there in this hellish, inescapable nightmare of repetition and soul destruction, and good luck.

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  80. Agree 100% with everything thats written here....where do I start? Working with fucktards who really reckon themselves....if you are running late you MUST call the absence line....ditto if you are 1 minute late back from break then email will be sent to you saying must stick to adherance...youre timed when you want to got to the toilet...Team Leaders that do fuck all and know fuck all - think themselves better than everyone else...akin to being a battery hen in a cage...dealing with rude selfish customers who think its all YOUR fault 'im not having a go at you' they say. Yeah right!...managers who do fuck all and get paid handsomely....having to put up with dumb obnoxious colleagues who will grass your ass the minute you do something wrong....shitty competitions where 1st prize you get to go home early 1 hour - yippeee!!....working with a bunch of arrogant cunts but in fact only earn slightly more than minimum wage....im done working in call centres...fuck off all you dumb arrogant obnoxious headset wearing cunts!!!!

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    1. You just gave me flashbacks, and I shuddered. It's like I wrote this once and forgot about it. Amen!

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  81. Holy fuck man, im only 21 years old and I dont think you should even like your job at this age, but goddamn im sick of this shit.. Every morning I wake up either angry or depressed because the company I work for is a total fuckin piece of shit with their terms.. So all the customers are always angry/douchebags and I just have to swallow that shit. Everyday I feel like saying "fuck you, fuck this place, im done", but nah, I just keep going.

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    1. Fuck it, you're 21 get the fuck out GET OUT NOW. You still have plenty of time to build a CV.

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    2. And do it now! If you wait too long, adding call centre after call centre to your employment history, it will, to potential employers at least, become more of a rap sheet than a CV.

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  82. I was only sentenced to one month at a call center when I was between jobs once. I did not experience (nor care about) the higher end issues talked about in the article. Human resources? I don't remember them even bringing up such a department.

    I do remember the "interview". It came down to a dozen people looking for work sitting in a room. We were given a script to read. If you obeyed proper punctuation and could actually read and not sound Forest Gump you were in. Those that couldn't pass that test were simply told to leave. I would guess that the reading was actually the second part of the test but the first requirement, being alive, was passed by default if you made it into the room under your own power.

    I also didn't have to deal with any angry customers as the job we were doing was simply trying to get credit card holders to take out a loan (up to 10k) from their cash advance portion for a fair interest rate. So the replies I received from customers were either: Sure! or Nope, I've got plenty of cash laying around.

    I never did any interaction with managers, team leaders, ect. I was told that I had to follow the script and so I simply followed the script. It was easy enough to the point of being mind numbing. After a day or so I knew the opening as well as the rebuttals by heart. So I would simply lay back in my chair, sprout off my opening, rebut, rebut, rebut, thank them for their time and wait for the next call (we were outgoing only).

    I normally keep to myself so there were no friendships made and I couldn't tell you at this time if the person sitting next to me as black, white, Hispanic, male or female. I couldn't tell you the demeanor of my supervisor of the gender, simply because I didn't care enough to pay attention and knew that I wasn't going to be there long.

    Today if I receive a call from a call center or I have to call someone working in a call center. I try to be as nice as possible. But I have to agree. I don't care about them smiling on the phone. And the people that seem overly happy simply creep me out / makes me nauseous.
    I simply want to have someone listen to my issue, with listen being the key word here. I hate when I explain what is going on and for some reason the rep on the other end repeats something back to me that doesn't even resemble what I just explained.
    If they can't help me I don't bitch and moan. I don't ask to speak with managers. I just thank them for their time and move on. I do want to feel confident that the issue will be taken care of. So when the rep is explaining how their going to fix an issue I like it when they can accurately tell me how it's going to be resolved. For example. I did a price match for an item purchased from a large electronic store. I speak with the rep and she agrees that the item should be price matched. I explain that I paid for the item using one of their gift cards. The rep at the end of the call tells me it will take about 5 days to have the money credited to my credit card depending on how long it takes the bank to process refunds... Um, yeah, it was a gift card. "Oh, yeah. Well, your gift card then".
    I have no expectation of getting that money back at this point.

    The only time I can think of becoming a royal ass was with a debit collection place that was calling my Google Voice number looking for someone that used to have the number. After a year of getting these calls I had enough. Even then I would apologize to the rep and suggest that they take this up with their management. The same management that it seems ignored letters sent to them telling them that they had the wrong number and several conversations with managers on the phone.

    Everyone else I realize that they're just trying to do a job to support themselves and / or a family.

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    1. "Sentenced to one month in a call centre..." now I do like that turn of phrase very much my friend. Good true points, particularly at the start. Providing you have a pulse and you can communicate without taking your pants off and drooling in the corner a call centre job is usually in the bag.

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  84. Very informative article which is about the IT and i must bookmark it, keep posting interesting articles.
    IT

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  85. This is hilarious and spot-on! Call centers are a horrible place to work!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE AND DO NOT APPLY!

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    1. You've pretty much summed up my post in eight true words.

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  86. I really appreciate your work and very amazing and important information about the I HATE MY JOB which have share in this blog.
    I HATE MY JOB

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  88. Thanks for sharing such kind of post! I have gone through with your article, the data are given in a very good manner. these are my exact thoughts even better described than I could have in my own head. I work in a call centre and swear one day I'm gonna go fucking mental with a shotgun.

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    1. Thanks for the polite reply capped off with that special touch of absolute raging mania we broken call centre workers all share deep down.

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  90. i do not agree with you.. why? they have a decent job..


    24x7direct call centre

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    1. What fucking galaxy did you warp in from champ, Jesus H Christ.

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  91. The worst part of my call center job is they HATE, with an absolute passion, giving you your entitled time off which makes getting to the very few interviews I get a total stress nightmare.

    Considering that its not very often I get home with enough energy, will and passion intact to actually fill out an application its making the whole getting out of the call center seem like the top of the well that gets further away each year.

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    1. Yeah, get home, tired, frustrated, exhausted, and free time away from that place is such a joy you begrudge wasting a single second of it on something you don't enjoy, like filling out a job application. That's how they get you.

      Delete
  92. Reading this was therapeutic. Great to know there's others out there who share the pain of the headset and chain.

    Funny thing is, before making the dick move of working in a call centre, I worked as a personal trainer and enjoyed my job.

    I was seeking something with more "Structure" and "Security"... What a naieve cuntos I was.
    Turns out structure in a call centre means being spanked because you spent 10 seconds too long writing notes or said "have a good day" rather than "have a nice day".

    The money is better but what the fuck does that matter when life itself turns to shit. Money can't buy happiness, nor can it stop calls coming through.

    I went from making a positive difference in peoples lives to developing a geniune distaste for the public. Disgusting. And like the author says, once you're in then your fucked.

    Man was i clueless when it came to training vs the actual job. I was being completely sucked in to the happy, young, cool and carefree guise they pull. Thought it would be a fun supportive workplace where everybody gets along. The centre manager would come into our training room with a big smile and a box of sweets like the fucking calm before the storm. And I was none the wiser.... Like an innocent puppy staring down the barrell of a gun. Needless to say I got blown apart day one.

    One year on and it's no better. Colleagues are miserable as shit and customers treat you like dirt.

    You're blood pressure is finally stabilizing after an intense ass-fucking and then BEEP round 2 begins!

    Anyway, good news is I've renewed my PT cert and should hopefully get out soon, lesson well learnt. Only trouble is having to learn to like people again...

    Good luck and best wishes to all fellow inmates out there.





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    1. Yes yes yes, if there's one positive thing about working in a call centre, it's that you quickly realize how little value you put into money in relation to your happiness. Quality of life. You go in thinking one day you would love to be a make your fortune one day somehow, and you come out thinking how happy you would be if you could could take a piss without someone asking where you've been and can you make the time back. Good luck. Once you are out you will NEVER go back.

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  94. I so feel your pain, enjoy http://rabblemum.blogspot.co.uk/2017/02/3-it-is-possible-to-live-off-energy.html

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  95. I so feel your pain. I've just escaped a call centre job so I started writing this. http://rabblemum.blogspot.co.uk/2017/02/3-it-is-possible-to-live-off-energy.html

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  96. i hate working at the call center , constant changes on a daily basis, it's like your being held down, depending on the campaign you will feel claustrophobic, my gosh getting up every morning to get yelled at and being told by your coach to smile and always remain happy over the phone kills me two fifteen minute brakes and depending on the call center 1 hour or half hour lunch, being cram in a cubical i hate it.

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    1. I admire that you managed to write that without resorting to foul language. You are clearly far too nice of a person to be beaten down and chained to a desk like you are. If I could free you, I would. Don't give up!

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  97. Bu siteden daha yararlı bilgiler edineceğiz. Bu blogu paylaştığınız için teşekkür ederiz. Call Center

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  100. I've just been sacked from a call centre. I was actually fucking relieved well and truly. I only wish I did more damage before I went. There was about four other people who left after I did. I assume I was the only thing keeping them from killing themselves. Fuck contact centres. HM Prison Service doesn't know shit about a crap job. The place I was at knowingly hired criminals and ex-cons. They are the only people who should be employed in a contact centre.

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    1. Bet when you walked out of there you were like that guy in Fight Club Tyler Durden threatens to kill if he doesn't become a vet. Finest day of your life, the air never felt fresher, the world never seemed more open to possibility. I never thought I would say this to someone but I am glad - for you - that you got sacked. I hope you look back one day and think "that was a pretty good fucking day".

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  103. I just quit a BT Call Centre today. I have no money, no prospects and no plan. But FUCK ME am I happier than I was this morning. B

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  105. Preach brother, preach!

    Your words are life!

    Its just a call centre but management makes it seem like thus amazing thing...customer champion?! Oh please, we're just glorified secretaries...even hookers have a better job! At least they get to set their own price, and wear fun clothes before they get screwed!

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  106. I hate my call centre job and am giving serious consideration to offing myself. Since working at CGI, my life has been reduced to a living hell.

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  107. I resigned from a call centre yesterday (by email) giving no notice and it feels feckin' great. Lasted 3 months but God knows how. What the guy wrote about training/induction above is so true, you're in your cosy training group for a few weeks with regular tea breaks and some nice freebies (where I worked anyway), and then reality hits... One girl in the group had the sense to leave after 4 week induction. We would go onto "the floor" to listen into calls and that's when I knew, I'm gonna bloody hate this - and I did. I put a brave face on it all summer, another summer ruined by a shit job. I've said for years "I'd never work in a call centre", always listen to your gut feelings folks. Only took the job because it's a very well known company and thought "maybe it'll be ok, I can transfer to another department after a few months, so close to home, great hours...". I hated it so much I probably wouldn't have got through the probation period. I was waking early every morning with anxiety. Your short breaks are "counted down" - you can see it on your PC. Calls come through automatically, you can't decide when to answer it, relentless, soul destroying. Had a review with manager last week who said she was gonna listen into some of my calls, that's when I thought, fuck this bollocks, I'm off.

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    1. In fact, I'm not quite finished with my rant yet (see above). You could vote for so-called "heroes" of the month, and it was so retarded you could even vote for yourself. Must have been to lift morale because the job sucks. Never even had time to look at the training guides because if I spent 20-30 mins reading them, the managers would come up sniffing behind you wondering why you're not taking calls. Why the hell didn't they give us these guides to read during induction, instead of teaching us useless stuff? They keep an eye on everything and let everyone know by email how many calls each sucker took, made, placed people on hold for. I'm degree educated and I was going to have to put up with my shit-for-brains manager doing a review with me every month, banging on about "call quality". And those managers have it easy, hardly at their desks (although was good to be shot of them) because they're always in meetings. Meetings about meetings probably. I was only part-time too and actually couldn't understand how the full-timers could sit there all day doing it, they're there right now, what the hell is wrong with them? Will they ever see sense?

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  108. Call centre work eventually causes anxiety and mental health problems. Mainly due to unrealistic and unsustainable expectations
    loyalty counts for nothing and becomes detrimental as new staff can be quickly employed on less salary ie new starter pay
    call centre work causes neck and skeletal problems due restricted movement
    The work affects your ability to enjoy life after the shift and truly is the modern day sweatshop
    avoid this work at all costs I madly survived one for 10 years until could take it no more
    no matter how good you are the moment you object to anything or the business wants to save money your call quality is deemed unsatisfactory and thus no bonus or the threat of disciplinary action

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  110. Hi All

    I work as a customer service director and I have a total number of 450 staff who work in my department 400 of which are call centre agents. I have worked my way up from taking calls to being a team leader workforce planner centre manager operations manager and now as a director and I must say this article and all of your comments have truly opened my eyes. I have spent a majority of my career in a call centre and I have been and ma extremely happy, however, there are days when senior management are discouraged
    I am absolutely appalled by these horror stories and I can truthfully say each and everyone of you are not at fault and you should never feel bad or guilty. To speak up to anyone and at times the additional days sick are justified and it comes down to one thing and that is poor leadership from the top down. For each of you I would give the advice to be the controller of your own destiny and not be taken away from your own goals because of “ loyalty “your career and your objectives should never come second to the centre. Then I would implore you all to speak up speak to your managers and be very open however be tame and civil and with viable back up.

    After reading all of this I am going to reassess how I do things and see what I can do to be a better leader for my people

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  111. For more call center stories and resources please visit C3

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  112. For more call center stories and resources please visit C3

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  113. Thank you for writing this - very true and very funny. I too worked in various call centres for many years until one day I woke up and thought 'WHY - just why am I doing this?' I walked in the same day, handed in my notice and walked back out, never to return. I wrote a book about it and then got a job in retail. So far stress free. (My book is on Amazon, not sure if I am able to leave a link - 'Confessions of a call centre worker'. Thank you for sharing your experiences. :)

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  114. Hell yeah I feel like every word in this text was meant for me to read. I totally fucking agree fuck those bastards Half of my adult life depression was caused by a fucking call center job Years of being on phones trying to work my way to the top and be the good little employee has been for nothing all this experience and I can only get 10 to 11 an hour fucking student loans up to my eyeballs because some prick didn't give Two shits about my future and told me whatever I needed to hear to feel motivated enough to get an IT end user support degree that I've been trying to get for 4 goddamn years but keep withdrawing due to my depression and dealing with many personal loses along the way with no fucking support I die a little inside every time I go job searching because I know I've sent hundreds maybe thousanfs of resumes to employers knowing I am equally equipped with the skills needed to do this simple ass shit day in and day out but those fuckers want to take me through allllllll this shit with background checks and drug test interviews and bullshit lies and promises I've never been so hateful after having a call center job in my life I have just come to the point of not giving a fuck anymore this is a relentless system designed for PEOPLE like me to continue feeling worthless and never have access to the resources that could change my life for the better this is an unattainable goal as long as it's about who you know and not what u know we're fucked. Allllllll the IT jobs are occupied with foreigners who were Hire by Americans and every time a computer issue arises and you have to call these ass wipes WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS BEING SAID!!! BUT THESE FUCKS HAVE THE WORSE ATTITUDES and hygiene imaginable...so yea call center life has made me bitter I use to be someone who wanted to make a difference..not any more thanks for telling me something I already knew in the back of my mind...

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  115. Call centres are prisons for the mind. They suck shit, everything you posted is true. Bums on seats and that it. The management cannot manage and come up daily with unrealistic targets.Anyone reading this steer clear of a career in a call centre. You wont have one. 16 years on and off experience. They are soul destroying and the fucks you have to talk to are amazing and that is too nice a word for some of them. Rude and abusive retards who have let to learn manners and respect for other people in society. They only do it on the phone as they are cowardly as face to face they would get a slap right in the boat race. I am just getting out of a call centre and I have vowed and promised myself I will never ever go back to call centre work. I would rather polish the popes knob. STEER CLEAR OF CALL CENTRES FOR YOUR SANITY.

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    1. Call centres are prisons for the innocent.

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  116. Did you use to smile and laugh with people? did you use to like people and get along in society? Don't worry work in a call centre for a while and that will soon be kicked out of you.

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  117. I lost a great work colleague in a call centre. He died when he threw himself out of the 7th floor window. I do not know if he had other issues but there must be something about it.

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    1. please tell us more. where was this when it happened?

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  118. I found this blog last year when I was working at a call centre. It was the most reassuring and therapeutic thing to read at the time as it was my first call centre job, a few months in, and straight out of uni. I never felt more like a zombie in my entire life! The monotony, management, and pretty much everything else was slowly but surely destroying my soul.

    Because I didn't know what I wanted to do after uni, I took the first I could find and genuinely thought I could make something of it. I was sucked into the whole spiel about "career progression" looooool! What a fucking joke! And how flexible it was to find roles within other departments-- yeah, all complete BS once I understood the structure of the company. I've heard of people having worked for years and continuously reapplying for these other roles and getting rejected because they didn't have enough "experience" WHAT?! It was literally from one shitty phone role to another shitty phone role with a minuscule pay rise. What experience could they possibly want? If y'all thought the job market was tough, try the internal job market of a call centre, it's pretty ludicrous.

    I'm surprised that I made it to six months. As soon as I got another job, I was out of there pretty sharpish. The job itself is honestly not that bad. However, the way the call centres are run makes it a Godawful place to place to work in.


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  120. This is absolutely amazing so accurate!!!!

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  121. Right. I am the "best thing in the world". I am "awesome". That is all bull shit and I flip off my screen as you lie over the phone and email. Tired of the BS carrot dangling from lazy supervisors. I used to be dumb enough to think it was sincere. F U.

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  122. I work in call Centre in a Tech support role helping people with phone and computer issues.
    This company has very high standards of privacy so during my shift we aren't allowed our phones in the office and if you get caught with your phone on the work floor you get 1 warning and then you're out after that.
    All 3rd party sites are blocked, you can only access the internal sites.
    I currently work 1-9Pm Sat - wed (worst possible shift)
    You bid on what shifts you get so top performers would get whatever shifts they wanted, i would of gotten decent shifts but i had gotten 2 bad surveys for not being able to book an appointment for a customer when there were no appointments available, the company cannot remove any surveys so if you're unlucky something like that happens and you end up with bad shifts for 3 months for something that's out of your control.
    before they blocked the websites it made the job bearable i use to read and learn as much as i could while working so i am at least being "productive"
    Now i just sit and stare at the call Que, we get a call every 8 seconds, so just enough time to take 2 maybe 3 breaths.
    Each call can take anywhere between 20 mins - hour - 2 hours.
    If you're not at work 15 mins earl (not paid) you can't clock in on time as the computers we work on have lists and lists of issues every day so takes ages to clock in.
    we can only go into 'unavailable' 1 min before Finish time, so pretty much you'll be there overtime almost every night.
    with the current hours i work i get no social time with friends or family.
    no career progression, I've been here for a year now.
    My manager is 20 years old, he's an complete idiot,
    And by idiot i mean the type of guy that asks a 8 month pregnant lady to work overtime as they needed people to work over time.
    he was there when the site came up so he was on the phones for 3 months and got promoted to team leader as the company were desperate for them at the time, he has no previous team leader experience.
    he's an absolute nightmare, constantly messaging me if i'm not in available or why i'm taking so long on the call , always stands behind me to check if i'm doing the right thing.
    Now there's a whole bunch of newcomers that joined and with only 3 days notice (which was 2 off days and 1 sick day for me) an email was sent at asking for Locker numbers, which we can't check emails from home so i would not have seen it, if you don't give the locker number they clear it out and give it to one of the newcomers.
    so they chucked everything i had in my locker away.
    I've complained and complained but nothing gets done, nothing gets changed, theres no help given because if you quit there's a lines of people looking for jobs.
    The customers are absolute idiots and i have no sympathy for anyone anymore.
    I've lost friends, I've wasted an entire year with 0 progression to my future.
    So much stress, so much anxiety, so much pressure.
    it got to the point of taking sick days every week.
    Handed in my resignation today and my team leader had to cheek to say "i never knew you had these issues, i wish you would have told me so i could help"
    i just laughed and said "Just let me know if i can help during my transition period and walked off"

    This is only a small list of problems i could type for hours on how awful call centers are with countless idiotic customers and impossible metrics to get.

    I seriously hope no one has to work in a call centre, and if you do i wish you all the luck and do not stay there for long.

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  123. I learned that everything in this world are all lies. Working in a Call Center is a big risk to your mental health. I was once a very optimistic agent who treated customers like they are babies resolving their issues first hand until management micro-manage their employees (maybe due to the demand of the client to lower down costs). One thing for sure is that you are just a number more often than not. If your numbers are down they'll treat you like you are the worst employee on the face of the earth without acknowledging your contributions (i.e generating good sales, resolving customers concerns, good handled time). Non of which are taken into account. On top of that the job itself is a dead-end. Are you proud to say when someone asks you "What is your job" and then you'll say "I work as a Call Center Agent"? I will feel demoralize.

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  124. I have never ever read anything so funny !! Just writing my immediate resignation letter now as after only 7 months I am currently on meds for anxiety its the whole listen in and rate your call compliance nonsense. I am currently broken but will dust off and carry on.

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  125. Thank God I ran across this article. It is so true and funny!!!

    When I showed it to my friend, he thought "I" wrote it. I told him nooooo and that it sounds like me because you have to work in a call center to know the bull that goes on.

    This is the United States of America, yet our Department(s) of labor allow these sweatshops to operate - while violating our rights (i.e. no pay for having to clock in early, stay late and come on/off breaks and lunches not on time).

    Last two I worked at? They push around a cart with chips, cookies, cake and crap...as if you are a fing child. Yesterday I felt like sinking down into a hole of shame as they literally played ice cream music while pushing a cart to give out ice cream

    Awww, how motivating? No? Snacks and ice cream for all the hard slavery we do. Geesh, who comes up with this nonsense? How about cleaning that nasty cafeteria and refrigerator? How about paying me for clocking in early and leaving late?

    Bunch of Ahats fighing over who will be promoted to lead, quality, or whatever.

    Unfortunately I need this crap to pay the bills while I get my career back on track...and it's so demoralizing. I try to remind myself it's better than Walmart or maybe being a trash person.

    Call centers should be banned from the U.S...they are inhumane sweatshops.

    I have more to say...

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  126. I remember reading this article December 2017 after another sleepless night of hating my job and life. I revisited today to reminisce on how crap things were and to appreciate where I am now.

    I worked in a call centre for 2 years from age of 18 to 20. It started as a Christmas temp job and I got sucked in. I didn’t mind my original contract (I can’t say what as was government work) but when that contract ended we got put on to cold calling.

    I couldn’t handle it, although I didn’t exactly enjoy the previous job it was people who wanted to speak to me and usually was thankful towards me. It was tolerable and I’d just come in, do my shift and go home without much more thought to it. This contract was a whole new ball game. I would wake up and cry, spend my breaks crying and was developing panic attacks and anxiety. I also had Lymes disease and was battling that. I actually became Ill with pleurisy and I practically thanked the lords because i was signed off for a month.

    I lasted a week when I came back. I woke up one morning vomiting at the thought and my mum took one look at me, told me to go in collect my belongings and walk out. My boyfriend made me promise I’d leave because he couldn’t see me there anymore and was going more and more downhill.

    I stuck to my guns, gathered my belongings and said goodbye to my friends. I’d made a best friend in there which was harder than I thought to say goodbye. As hard as it was, that job was a security blanket and leaving with no back up plan was scary.

    I got home and the relief was incredible. Although I didn’t have s clue what I wanted to do I knew I’d never be putting a headset on ever again no matter what and that was enough to make me want to do backflips.

    Fast forward 4 months later and I’m a qualified eyelash technician, I work for myself at home and have lovely clients. I work when I want and how I want. I’m also in the process of opening my own shop designing and selling customised Minnie Mouse ears. I’m so much better health wise, my anxiety has left and I’m in a recovery from Lymes. If you would of told me 8 months ago I’d be a owner of two businesses and living my dream I would never in a thousand years have believed you.

    I was fortunate enough to not have many bills and a family and boyfriend who support every decision I make. I used to cry in my boyfriends car after he picked me up from work feeling like a failure and adamant I’ll never get out, but he assured me I’d figure it all out. I wish I knew at that time what I know now.

    I know not everyone gets the opportunity to just pack up and leave and chase their dreams but take it from me, if you do... run with it.

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  127. Omg this is the realest thing i have ever read !!
    I'm glad im not the only one feeling this way! my friends and family just think its me not wanting to work, but i really do!
    I took a call centre job 5 years ago as the money was great, since then I've went from call centre to call centre. I now have depression and bad anxiety which i never had before working in call centres because of the unrealistic targets, shitty managers etc.
    I have even managed to gain administration experience and no longer work in a call centre. However I've found i'm no better I can no longer answer calls without trembling and having panic attacks.
    Is this just me or has anyone else been the same even after moving into admin ?

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  128. Same here, I am still working in a call centre, but cannot stop as I need the money. I keep applying for other things, but meanwhile I have to stay on this soul crushing and mind destroying job. It not only gave me a feeling of panic when I hear a phone ringing - I now struggle with all noises related to phones, sms and even door bell! Even being on holidays and far away from that place does not help the reaction to all call related noises.
    Call centers jobs should be performed by roboters only, no decent human being should ever have to go through this torture! I would be very lucky if it does not cause some kind of mental illness until I am able to leave.

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  129. One thing about this is not true. You can get out of a call center. A call center actually teaches people a lot of very good and transferable skills. Good communication, keyboarding, problem solving and general computer skills. You can come up with more. If you are working in a call center that is in the financial or healthcare industry, that is fantastic experience and knowledge to transfer to another off-the-phone job in the same or similar industry. Out together a very good resume highlighting your skills, brush up on your Word and Excel, shape yourself up, get some confidence and motivation, and start applying. You will find something else eventually.

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  130. I don't work in a call centre but we have one where I work. They're treated completely differently to the rest of the site. Must be soul destroying....and conditions are good compared to an average call centre, with lots escaping to back office management jobs here. I truly feel for all you genuine inbound call helpdesk workers. There's no reason to chain people up and decide when they take breaks like prisoners.
    Outbound call centres. Sorry. Different story. Unwanted calls about the same scams are making people suicidal. Just stop! People who choose to take jobs calling people up about fictional accidents they were in that were not their fault need to seek mental help, and question where their lives went so horribly wrong

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  131. Thanks for sharing great piece of content with us. Really very effective article for business person who wants to keep employees Attendance record using attendance software. Telcob is provide cloud telephony service at a very affordable price for your business.

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  132. Y'know, I came across this blog after a bit of morbid curiosity to see if the feelings I felt about working in a call center were just me or the nature of the job. Currently, I'm on my second call center job -- mind you, I work in the US, so call centers here are a special kind of hell, due to the fact that they dangle benefits over one's head to make up for the fact that call centers are the corporate equivalent to McDonald's. The only reason I'm on the second is because this paid my rent and not much else. The first call center job was described as a "help desk," so I went into it expecting a few calls here and there and a much more professional corporate job, unlike my previous jobs in retail and food service. As it turns out, these jobs are the equivalent of working with high schoolers that are legally able to buy booze. Everything the OP mentioned is exactly what I've experienced, (still experiencing it now) and it is actual garbage. If you can avoid getting caught in the call center merry-go-round, please swerve on this shit as quickly as possible. I'm using this as a means to an end until January, then I'm quitting...for good. No more call centers or pseudo-corporate jobs for me.

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  133. Fuck call centres to all hell. How could all of this be so true and so global?!

    I had the awful experience working in one for about 3 months. Thought it might be okay in training. Man was I wrong. The training was 3 weeks. After that it only took a few days to see what was actually going on.

    Shitty outdated hardware that always broke for one. Then you'd have a god damn list of 'tools' ie. Shitty programs that always crash to sign into that would take at least 10 minutes to get working. That's of course after you already came 15 minutes early hoping to find a seat/prison cell because you are so low that you don't get your own steady place. This of course unless you're a manager favourite or banging the team lead. Then for some reason you can have your own space with all your shit at it.

    The job was considered full-time yet shifts were 8.5 hours with an unpaid lunch that if you're 2 seconds late from you will be noted. Oh ya, every fucking second you're there you are monitored. Late because the systems don't start up right? Bang. Docked. Late because you had to take a longer shit on break? Docked. Have to leave the phone for any reason? Docked.

    I had been made to work 130-10pm almost every day with variety shifts given to anyone more senior. Trying to get time off, switch shifts, or setting shift preferences is a joke.

    I am not a racist person but this place sure made it tempting. I learned to hate anyone who can't speak English properly....which is apparently 85% of reps and customers. I especially hate Indian and Asian accents now. So these geniuses decide to have us use a phonetic alphabet and it's mandatory to repeat every fucking thing back letter by letter. Try doing this to someone who also doesn't know any of the words you're saying.

    Micromanaging is both depressing and laughable. You hear nothing for a week then all the sudden it's your turn to have calls pulled and tested against impossible metrics. You might be doing something wrong for a while by the time you get hammered for it.

    Unions are a useless joke who rape you by the hour and do nothing but offer a free lunch here and there and other shitty perks I don't want.

    That's another bizarre degrading thing I found too. All the perks are usually food. I am a very active person so I already knew being chained to a desk would be hell. It's also well known that sitting all day is not healthy in itself. Then you throw in food and constant snacking and I could see how some of the people I had known years before working there got so fat. These places are as toxic as it could get in every respect. All you stand to gain is weight and mental health problems.

    I've worked various other jobs and many hard labour ones. Yet somehow it was this job that left me totally drained 24/7. Not even the glimmer of relief like a weekend off because surprise surprise you never get two days off and if you do it'll be some random time like Tuesday-Wednesday.

    I will end with what I call the Red Complex. Remember Shawshank Redemption when he's on parole working at a grocery store? He asks to take a piss and the manager rolls his eyes and says 'you don't have to ask, just go.' Yeah. Not at a call centre. This is the only job where not only did you have to ask to go, you'd be penalized for doing it more than once or taking too long. Oh yeah and no sick days but what the government mandates and no pay even them.

    Fuck these places. They show how hopeless modern life is. You're desperate for the hottest work even if you have a degree. This is the bottom of the barrel. Then you have to remember if they could find a robot to replace you they'd do it in a heartbeat.

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  134. Here in Colombia, Barranquilla people who work in call centers are the people who cant find jobs anywhere else. They are employment pariahs. The worst of all is that call centers are the only ones who usually call back from job offers.Here in Barranquilla it is so difficult to scape from the call center industry that everytime you move from a call center you find the exact same people that wanted to scape from the industry but came back to a different call center because they couldnt find a new job.everybody in this industry ends up with psicological illnesses related to anxiety and depression, smoking habbits of fat.

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  135. Call centers are truly the spawn of SATAN. Everything you and others have said is correct and for those who disagree, has never work in one, so shut it. We have every right to voice what its really like and for the person who said the health care industry is good place to work at, has you fooled. I have work for three of major ones. At one of them the EMT was called nearly everyday carting someone off due to the pressure. I myself had a stroke right there on the job, women had miscarried, other have problems with high blood pressure, those are just a few. The turn over rate is UNBELIEVABLE!!. Yes it truly is hard to get out of the call center cycle and for those who have are truly blessed.

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  136. I would like to add. The work is very hard. Just trying to find a doctor can taking and I am not joking up to 3 hours and more. There is so much involved with trying to get what the member needs, which make a simple question or demand difficult.

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  137. I like this nice blog. The Writer Hub Is Providing E Book Writing Service in USA.

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  138. I read this shit every 3 months. I fortunately got out of call centers but will never forget my time there… fuck that shit!

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    1. I swear if I don't get this next job i applied for, i'm gonna quit the call centre and go broke. I can't do it anymore. This blog gave me a good laugh

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